Re: [ET2] Living Creatively At The Genius Level? (was Teacher Trauma)

Hi Silvia,

Its interesting you bringing up this subject of learning and trauma from
school days. I had to revisit this when my children attended the high
school I had fond memories of attending but for the life of me didnt' want
to go near. I was glad they had to take the bus to school.

I was in primary school in the 60s and we used to get rapped over the
knuckles with a ruler. Or stood up in front of the class, had to bend down
with our butts facing the class and get whacked. My father was the chairman
of the school committee and I since learned didn't like the headmaster so I
was particularly singled out for smacks.

Then to high school. Im blonde. Male teachers were the worst. Coupled with
sleazy male teachers dropping their pens and looking under the tables. We
had one male teacher in particular that would single us out in a tutorial
of a few hundred kids and shame you out so bad, it wasn't even about you in
the end, it was about how powerful he was and what he could get away with
saying. I ended up throwing up every morning at 16 and realise in later
years that this was due to the fear of being shamed out, especially in
front of boys. For teenagers even a pimple on your face feels like a crater
so to single you out in anyway was excruciating.So at the time not knowing
what was wrong with me set me up for a pattern of always thinking something
was wrong with me, never seeing that what was going on outside of me wasn't OK

This of course would have been a whole lot easier to handle if I'd had
supportive parents who didn't set me up to take this kind of crap to start
with. My fathers words, do as your told, do what ever is expected of you by
authority figures set me up for a life of fear and sexual abuse in the
workplace.

But, Ive overcome the fear of looking stupid, I can ask questions, share
myself, Im not afraid to not understand something and I suppose Ive spent
the last ten years with an insatiable appetite for learning which has made
up for those days when getting a B grade in any class wasn't OK.

Kate

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Received on Tue May 27 2003 - 15:52:04 BST