Disappointment Alleviated

Yesterday, I went to a shop to collect something I'd ordered a while
back. I was VERY excited about this and looking forward to it most
tremendously.

When I got there, the sales person asked me to take a seat at a desk.
They sat on the other side and then told me that the item hadn't arrived
yet and might not be available before Christmas at all.

Instantly, something hit me that I can only call a massive wave of
disappointment with such force, it brought tears to my eyes.

I could feel my energy system falling apart and this FLOOD of nonsense
thoughts came right with it, like bilge water pouring in complete with
rats and floating garbage:

"Nothing ever works! Nothing ever turns out the way I want it to! Oh why
oh why did I delude myself thinking that life could ever be anything but
hideous misery ..."

But on this occasion, there was also a part of me that was OBSERVING the
whole occurrence and just simply UNDERSTOOD COMPLETELY how there was no
truth in these thoughts at all, how it was just "disturbed thinking" as
a side effect of an energy system malfunctioning, and that it was really
and truthfully "just an energy" situation happening.

The sales person must have felt this huge energy freak out across the
table because they looked very concerned, put their own hand on their
stomach and started talking fast, how they would try their best to make
it happen anyway, really they would ...

I held up my hand flat and said to the sales person, "Please, be quiet
for a moment. I have to deal with my disappointment here. Give me a
moment, please."

They fell silent and I just did my EmoTrance to straighten out the
energy problem, which was easy and very fast.

As the energy started to flow the right way round again, and I breathed
a deep sigh of relief, I noted the stupid ideas and thoughts dissipating
likewise.

Christmas is just a random date. I'll get this thing eventually and what
do a few days more matter? Nothing. I still want the thing, I'm still
looking forward to it just as much as ever and this big smile came
across my face.

"There we are," I said brightly to the appalled sales person. "Now then,
you were saying about what we can do to get a speedy delivery now?"

I helped them happily over their confusion and focussed us back on the
job in hand and left a few moments later, feeling completely fine and
smiling to myself.

Now, I've never done something like this before, in public, with a
person who's got no idea of our worlds here, but it worked really
splendidly.

So that was excellent and interesting.

I've also never before come out of a "disappointment" loop so fast and
so easily. Ten seconds was all it took and I was fully functional and
thinking straight again.

I was FASCINATED how these "silly thoughts" just happened and how clear
it was that there should have never been any arguing with these sort of
thoughts.

They're just pointless, illogical, wrong and don't MEAN anything at all
- they're just garbage generated by a malfunctioning energy system and
"not worth the paper they'e not printed on".

In the past, I would have tried to "argue my way out".

"Oh, of course nothing is ever good or will ever be good ..."
"But the counter evidence! But the meta model violation! But ..."

It doesn't work to argue with these screwy thoughts and its pointless,
and to really experience how TRUE that is was brilliant.

Lastly, I walked away from the experience with a whole new notion and
idea of what life might be like if I was NO LONGER AFRAID OF
DISAPPOINTMENT.

I started to think about what I might like to try and do if I could
handle random outcomes and wasn't afraid to feel those freaky feelings
and have those freaky thoughts if things went "horribly hideously
wrong".

What could and would YOU do if the diappointment demon was no longer a
threat?

Hmmm...

SFX :-)

           
Received on Wed Dec 08 2004 - 00:26:00 GMT