FW: Denying Yourself Comfort

Just came across this little article and thought you guys might
like to consider this in the ET context.

SF

-----Original Message-----
From: Sibyl McLendon <navajomouse127_at_oPFyOn_oPXe1ZMt52Ja6ykMuPEp5cM3j5v7MPOAxJ0ceBf-wLgqZjmHRrJDzb0hnYBgfkVKVFnemQrdATZ5V.yahoo.invalid>
[mailto:navajomouse127_at_oPFyOn_oPXe1ZMt52Ja6ykMuPEp5cM3j5v7MPOAxJ0ceBf-wLgqZjmHRrJDzb0hnYBgfkVKVFnemQrdATZ5V.yahoo.invalid]
Sent: 05 February 2003 15:11
Subject: [aahealth] Denying Yourself Comfort

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Denying Yourself Comfort
By Sibyl McLendon

How do you react when you have a problem? Do you reach out for
help
or do you withdraw? Do you accept the comfort and support of
others,
or do you clam up and put up walls?

Most likely, when a loved one comes to you with a problem you do
not
turn your back on him or her. You probably try to help in any way
that you can. Who wants to see a friend or loved one depressed or
sad? Even if it is just listening quietly while they talk about
what
is wrong, I suspect that you will offer the ear. But what happens
when you are depressed or sad? What do you do then? Hopefully,
you
reach out for some comfort.

However, I have met a lot of very caring people who are not very
good
at accepting the very same comfort that they easily extend to
others. They somehow feel that they should be able to handle
everything that life throws at them without so much as a moment's
assistance from anyone. They feel that they should be strong, be
in
control and never need that comforting ear themselves.

It is just as important to receive, as it is to give! I know that
sounds selfish, but in reality it isn't. When you are incapable
of
allowing the people around you to give you comfort and support
when
you need it, you are actually being quite selfish. Just as much
as
you want to help a friend when they have a problem; that is how
much
your friend wants to help you as well. When you put up walls and
deny your friend a chance to help, it makes your friend feel
useless
and shut out. Few things are more frustrating that being unable
to
help a troubled friend when they need it.

Curling up in a ball and hanging on to negative feelings and
problems
is unhealthy. In one way, it is as if you are saying that you are
not a good enough person to deserve comfort at this time. In
another
way, it is telling the people around you that they are somehow not
good enough to share your problems with.

I urge you to reconsider this position. If you shut people out,
you
hurt yourself and you hurt them. Give it a try. The next time
that
you are going through a rough time, turn to a friend or a loved
one
for some comfort, if not advice. The rewards are there for
everyone
concerned. Don't deny yourself the comfort of a helping hand.

Sibyl McLendon is 1/2 Navajo, and is a personal empowerment coach
for
Circle Of Grace http://www.circle-of-grace.com
Sibyl can be contacted at sibyl_at_r7YYZ3JQ_QFzOW_czqecrepckI10kCjCs8boZK3J7au9RlnZX-YVxyjZf98KoWfpTQYEqog2bkRl1Qend66scta_2NSRiaGx.yahoo.invalid

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Received on Wed Feb 05 2003 - 08:49:22 GMT