TONS of energy STUCK in head

Hey all.

Posted a while ago about social anxiety. It's essentially just a self-esteem issue though. I feel literally worse than everyone else on the planet and am extremely self-conscious at parties etc. Oddly, I do fine with speeches in front of hundreds of people. It's interpersonal stuff that throws me into self consciousness the most.
(where I'm just hanging out with people in other words).

I do fine in "structured" social situations (i.e. job interview, as long as I don't have to crack jokes)

It's been a longtime problem since I was 5/6/7 (not sure). I am 21 now. I'm nearly positive it came about because of some rough experiences in kindergarten in France (my parents moved me around frequently during my childhood as they were aid workers in several countries). My parents said after my first year in kindergarten I changed from an extremely outgoing kid to someone who was reserved and "clammed up".

The problem is I absolutely CANNOT rememberer any of these "events" even slightly.

Anyways I finally got ET to partly work, and managed to release some energy from my chest and neck (it felt very odd! Definitely know that this works now though, I felt absolutely blissful for several hours and felt very good for several days after the release... the energy left through my right ear)

Now I feel like there is a mass of energy still stuck in my head. I have been unable to remove it for 2 weeks now, and try every day. I think I MAY have been able to get some of the energy to flow out from the very center of my head but now there is a very very dense mass in the front of my face, also near the top of my skull and the top back.

It's a constant dull/awkward feeling during my day, that becomes worse when around people and makes me feel completely cut off from others.

When I try focus on it/put my intention on it, it becomes stronger and eventually (after enough focus) begins to throb and almost becomes a self induced headache. It pulsates when focused on like waves hitting the beach. When I put my hands on it to help heal the energy sort of "goes away" but not in the soften and flow sense. It just becomes more difficult to "track" and place my intent on.

I feel like the energy is trying to move through my nose and/or teeth. Sometimes the energy from the front of my face (mainly in my eye sockets/nose/forehead but also top and top back) comes down to my teeth and makes them all almost hurt but then goes back up partly. At times I feel about to sneeze from all the pent up energy in my nostrils trying to unstuck (and I always wish I do but it never happens!)

It seems to be very irregular in that it'll come in STROOONG for a second and then seem to dissipate for half a second before coming back on. Again, like waves on the beach.

I have a small amount of awkward energy still in my arms/chest/throat but it is quite minor and I feel like all the energy in my head is the KEY area and once it's clear I will be almost entirely healed.

Also,

I have tried using different affirmations/thoughts/situations/etc. to bring up different energies, it's almost all energies in my head. It feels like it's seperated into a few parts (corresponding to different issues of the larger problem I suppose) but it's very very difficult to pin where and how because it's all a big mass of throbbign energy that becomes stronger/weaker in different areas almost non-stop when focused on.

I'm not sure it's shields because I can definitely feel SOMETHINg when I put my intention on that area for long enough.

It's frustrating though because I 've spent quite a few hour long sessions trying to get the energy to soften and flow. It's just not happening.

Any help much appreciated. I'm probably going to try to get a phone session with an ETP but I'd love to get started on my healing right away!

           
Received on Fri Jun 26 2009 - 03:48:03 BST