RE: [ET2] Treating the NOW??? (was ET and Tachyon)

> -----Original Message-----
> From: maalberse [mailto:maalberse_at_Q2OjtOjQ-bP3DBkLC1kvLZhIDItZr2GA_ScZ24xY17rZ67f5aS34aM6sbOlt1f9h5UIylRsHN5xF6k0bTYE.yahoo.invalid]
> Sent: 24 February 2003 18:11
> To: emotrance2_at_yahoogroups.com
> Subject: Re: [ET2] Treating the NOW??? (was ET and Tachyon)
>
>
> <<I have NO idea why oh, a dozen or so of the best
> therapists and healers I know and including myself
> never once thought to tap on the NOW.
>
> Perhaps if we'd done that, and even opened up that can
> of worms or huge dam, I would have had a nervous
> breakdown or something because it really was bad with a
> capital B.
>
> Perhaps we all knew that and so just didn't and worked
> on the rest of the system at the time so I could keep
> on going regardless.>>
>
> --
>
> Hi Silvia
>
> Thank you for reminding me of the temptation of looking
> anywhere else than the now and the immediate
> environment and treating that (eg anything we can dig
> up from our past, past lives, future projects).
> I for one find it easier to go back to my early
> feelings of shame and abandonment, than to stay and
> face for sufficient time my present difficulties in
> building a decent network in France (seem to be able to
> do that and build friendships everywhere but where I
> actually live...).
>
> With the wisdom of hindsight, do you have any clue
> about what would have made the opening of that can of
> worms and the Bad manageable?
>
> Maarten
>

Hi Maarten,

this whole topic is actually most fascinating and very involved,
or it may be simple, I'm not sure.

I don't know if it was on this list that I noted that its usually
the reflections *after* the fact that seem to be the problem - at
the time, and it doesn't matter if its bereavement, or a plane
crash, or a rape or whatever, you have really not much choice but
you just respond as you do, do what must be done, suffer what must
be suffered and get through it somehow. In these trauma/crisis
situations, you don't think about it and you don't reflect, you
just do.

Now, you could look at this in two ways. You could either say, and
this is the standard viewpoint, that during this time you're
disassociated, not firing on all cylinders, and that a sign of
saneness is to start thinking about it and "working all the
meanings out afterwards".

Or you could try this interesting experimental viewpoint I've been
playing with and you could say, you're not thinking about it
because the very act of doing that will screw you royally in every
way and could even be an absolute survival issue, especially when
circumstances are unfriendly to lying down and sobbing
incoherently for any length of time.

So back to the example which was me. At that point, in an
unbearable relationship, with an extremely difficult autistic kid,
my mother having moved in and dying of cancer, and my business
falling apart because its not getting the requisite attention to
keep it going.

In these sort of situations, there is really no merit whatsoever
in beginning to reflect on the "now" and to "really start thinking
about how absolutely appaling this all is".

Simply put, you can get yourself into a state spiral that way from
which there may be no way back but a big time crash - such as a
nervous breakdown.

There is also this whole deal with therapy (and at that time I
viewed EFT as a therapy) being inherently remedial, i.e. as soon
as you start you by needs begin to sort for negativity, pain,
trauma and misery.

Which very well can be in and of itself the first step on one of
those state spirals and I'm pretty sure that it would have been
for me, back then.

I once knew a man who could be accused of "repressing" his traumas
or problems or whatever; but one time I was talking to him and I
just saw so very clearly that there was just no merit whatsoever
in "drowning him in an ocean of emotions" - it would not have
improved him overall, would not have helped his personal or
spiritual development, would not have been a healing step but
quite the opposite.

Now with me, back then, there was a silent conspiracy amongst
everyone involved to exactly that end - no-one and including
myself wanted to drown me in an ocean of emotions by pointing out
how terrible it all was. We didn't and so I just got on with it,
best I could, got through it and as far as I can see, I have not
retained any scars, disfigurements or problems from this time at
all.

I look back upon this and am a little amazed that I managed to do
all of that, managed all of that, did what I had to do - and
simply it would not have been possible at all if I'd started to
feel sorry for myself, resentful at any of it or worried or
overwhelmed - all of which was avoided by *not thinking about it*.

Not thinking about it in that therapy way, to make that
qualification. Read the other day that "therapy takes you from -10
to 0, coaching takes you from 0 - 10" and I had a little laugh and
thought, interesting concept.

It might not even be that thinking in and of itself is the core
problem, but indeed thinking in a therapy way, in a sorting for
problems way, that sets that state spiral in motion.

I can't imagine what it might be like to be in a problem situation
and instead of not thinking, to think with total focus on the
positives of the situation. What that might do for your energy
system. And what kinds of state spirals one might then get into.
Reminds me of the "nervous breakthrough" from the Diamond Pyramid,
actually.

Perhaps it is simply so that if you focus on what's bad you get to
see more and more of it, and if you focus on what's good likewise.

Which is the oldest personal development technique in the book.

Oh dear ...

LOL

Silvia :-))

           
Received on Mon Feb 24 2003 - 19:16:20 GMT