Managing Major Life Changes

I have just written a section for the book which I wanted to share
with you all, knowing full well that not everyone will buy the book on
this list when it comes out.

I think this is important in more ways than I can say. I would also
like to hear people's points of views and insights who have actually
experienced this too.

SF

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Managing Major Life Shifts

I have written many books on a variety of personal healing modalities
but this is the first time that I felt the need to include a section
entitled, “Managing Major Life Shifts”.

It is true that in the development of this system I was indeed looking
for something that was not just a quick fix for our niggling little
problems so we could go on just the same as we were before, just a bit
more comfortably so.

I was looking for a tool for transformation and I got it.

What do you think happens when someone who has lived for twenty or
thirty years in a certain way really releases one of their most core
problems or disturbances?

They change.

They change not just a little bit but to the extend that they will say
things like, “I am a changed woman.” – “I feel like a totally
different person.” – “I look back and I don’t recognise who I used to
be.”

Now it would be nice to think that such a change which is always and
absolutely clearly for the better for the individual in question
(cessation of fear, shame, guilt, anger, sadness, depression,
desperation, loneliness, low self esteem etc) would be applauded and
celebrated with joy by their “loved ones” and their communities.

Sadly, this is not always the case.

Someone might be in a partnership which was begun under the contract
of “You are submissive and I am dominant.” If one of these changes,
the dynamic of the relationship falls apart and if there is not enough
will or love left, this relationship will die and there is no going
back.

Someone may have applied for and be given a job because they were
always quiet and never spoke up for themselves – that was the contract
of that employment. Now, they do express an opinion or suggest changes
and this contract will have been broken; they may get fired or decide
to leave.

These are just two examples of serious life changes which can come
about as a result of using EmoTrance and especially at the beginning,
they can be frightening.

A long time ago I conducted an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)
treatment with a lady who had been seriously phobic of a particular
representation her entire life. When we tested the treatment by having
her walk towards what had been the object and focus of the most
intense panic attacks imaginable, her steps faltered and she
hesitated, looking very scared.

I mistakenly thought that the phobia had not been entirely removed and
asked her what was wrong; but she was not at all afraid of the object
any longer.

She said, and I quote, “I have never not been afraid of this and I
just don’t know what I should think, how I should feel – I don’t know
anything at all and I am afraid.”

You can imagine that this particular moment was a watershed for this
lady.

It was like she could make a decision here – go back and simply have
the phobia again and her life would procede as before, predictable,
safe, with all possible occurrences planned for and practised many
times, possibly an entire life path right into retirement and death
planned out already.

Or, she could go forward into the unknown – into a life that was
completely new in all ways, with whole new sets of challenges,
unpredictable outcomes where not even goals were known yet. That is
the Tarot Card numbered 0 and called, the Fool but without whose step
into the abyss none of the others – The Magician, The High Priestess,
The Emperor, The Star – could ever come into being.

I sometimes wonder when I think about that particular lady what would
have happened if I had not been there to encourage her to go forward
in that moment; and further I have wondered if these watershed moments
do not actually arrive far more often and regularly in our lives than
I had previously suspected, and we make the decision of “No, I’ll turn
around, keep it as it is.” many times, indeed, time and time again?

If this becomes an issue for you or any of your clients, the answer is
to firstly be clear in yourself if you are really willing to grow or
if you want to give up and turn back. Most people find that they do
not want to turn back once the question is out in the open and some,
including myself, find they cannot even if they wanted – they had
already come too far.

Once we have made the decision to go forward, it is best not think
about the details of what might or might not happen too much (as we
simply cannot know!) and to treat this very fear of the unknown with
EmoTrance, take it right to the energised end state and have the fear
of the unknown turn into a true excitement and sense of freedom about
the future instead.

As with many things EmoTrance related, I cannot tell you here what
that actually feels like, to make that decision and step out into the
void of the newly unfolding you, but just to give you a flavour, here
is a message I received from someone who found the courage to say
“Yes!” to a completely new life.

<<< I went to the Cirque de Soleil show yesterday at the Albert Hall.

There was an incredibly powerful image when a woman was swinging on a
single trapeze hundreds of feet up in the huge dome of the hall. She
was on her own, performing incredibly beautiful feats with a very thin
safety wire attached which didn't detract at all from her grace or
power or daring.

It made me understand I may have/had a safety wire attached but it
doesn't take away or negate anything I have done, soaring high, seeing
everything and everyone from a different angle, feeling the rush of
flying high on my own.

It was incredible, reclaiming my achievements, the overwhelming
feeling and the realisation made me weep.>>>

EmoTrance does not take your emotions away – in the contrary, it shows
you whole new realms of experiences you would never have believed
could have been possible.

I know this and I have experienced this too; I also know that change
can be frightening and people get very upset when you change before
their eyes.

However, and this is a great comfort and allows for a great deal more
courage all around, EmoTrance can help with the fallout and
repercussions of change just as much as it can and does engender them
in the first place and I would say from my own experiences that it
wasn’t easy, but it was nowhere near as hard or terrifying to change
than I had always thought and feared it would be.

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Received on Mon Jan 20 2003 - 10:06:39 GMT