the beautiful bending

Dear Everybody,
Ananga suggested I post this to the list, so here goes.

I had the fortune recently to watch a film called 'Monster's Ball', with
Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton in the lead roles.
It was a great movie imho, so i thought I would write about something that
occurred at the end that had some significance to me in my life, as it is.

I had come to realise how hard being inflexible is on the spirit of a person.
I, personally, suffer from wanting everything the way I want it, desperately
struggling against the flow of 'The Way Things Sometimes Are'. I have broken
so many times in noticeably small situations, where someone is walking too
slowly in front of me or I am held up for an ENTIRE MINUTE MORE THAN
NECESSARY by a slow(!) shop assistant. And I fit and I stomp and I pout
and, most importantly, lose vital energy by being inflexible.
And then.. comes the Big Stuff. Sometimes we have limited choices, but I
believe that our choices are limited by our own inflexibility, and our
biggest sufferings come from limiting the choices down to one. 'THIS IS THE
WAY IT HAS TO BE'. and amen to that, sister.
I am increasingly attracted to those bendy souls, able to be 'let down' and
still find a way of living in peace, or at least not in utter gloom and
anger. I do not like the brittle person I have become, unable to stop myself
from moaning if a so-called plan of mine doesn't work out, because of other
people and their lives interfering in the smooth running my SOOO important
map of the tiny, tiny world.

SO here is what happened in the film.. Halle Berry's character was called
Larissa and Billy Bob's was called Hank.
So, Hank has changed his life to be with her, or his life changed itself..
long story (watch the movie!). So, in the last 2 scenes, Larissa discovers
something about Hank that is so terrible and utterly (understandably)
disturbing to her that she is completely smashed. He is out getting ice
cream, and when he gets back she is standing in the dark kitchen with danger
written all over her. We, the viewers, have no idea if she has a weapon in
her hand or her pocket, we have no clue what she's going to do. He suggests
eating the ice cream on the backdoor steps. And she sits there, and we can
see she has this piece of paper with the evidence of the thing that horrifies
her scrunched up, holding it like a weapon, and actually, it is just that. If
she shows him the paper, perhaps everything they have between them will
change and be ruined.
So there we all sit with bated breath and wonder what will this woman do.
I would've screamed and hit him (at least) I know that would be my brittle,
unbendable gut reaction.
But, Larissa isn't brittle. She has learned in a very harsh way, to bend and
bend with grace and peace. So she does. and we see (through the magnificent
artistry of Halle Berry's performance) the choice making moment. She puts it
aside and goes with the flow, and it is the right choice,. She knows he had
his reasons, and to get to the point of loving and being with her he himself
has had to bend. ALOT.
So she takes the high road, and how much did I love that woman? Quite a fair
amount, let me tell ya.
This is what I've learned. It's a small thing, but it is something that will
make me a better me, and a less stressed out bundle of effected nonsense if I
can practice this quality that I love so much in others.
The amazing thing is that we have been introduced, by the Grace of a Flexible
God, to EFT and EmoTrance (for me the greatest of tools), and I have found
myself saying 'even tho I am as brittle as dried, brown leaves, I accept
myself', and also, during the second viewing of 'that end part' of Monster's
Ball, I watched Larissa's face and found where I felt the regret I am not
able to be like her in my body and moved that energy though and out. A few
times.

So, my new years resolution is to make myself happier and less breakable.
Happy 2003 to you all, may you be flexible and strong.
Amen.

Love, Gaura xox0

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

           
Received on Tue Dec 31 2002 - 02:26:18 GMT